HAPPY NEW YEAR, I Know right. It’s been a while, when life comes at you fast. You really have to take all the moments you can to adjust and get yourself right. I suppose that’s where I’m at.
Before we go any further, I’m not here to harp on about brexit! Every time I get up-to-date something else happens and I’m lost again.
So, when I say leave or remain. What I’m really eluding to is my career, yup that’s right only 4-5 years in and I’ve got the itch.
Now if love for it to be as simple as I’ve fallen out of love with nursing and I’m done with it. As we all know there are so many intricacies to life and without exposing my soul fully, lets get real for a moment.
I started my nursing journey in September 2009 at Birmingham city university. Like a lot of things in my life I took the scenic route and didn’t make life as straight forward as it really could have been. Nevertheless I made it.
Fast forward a few years, I found an amazing job which I started in March 2016. Fast forward to today and ask me what happened so drastically that meant I’d considered leaving the profession. I can honestly say it’s a little of this and a lot of that and the professional was only the little .
We have all been under immense pressure, as the NAH has navigated through many a bumpy sea and somehow still managed just to cling on to this vessel
After many franc conversations with my best friends my I knew my metal health was in tatters. Behind the bubbly out going nature you’re all used to. I struggled! have struggled with th most mundane of things . I struggled to get out of bed, to organise my life. My head was in utter chaos. If I’m keeping it all the way real there have been moments when I can honestly say I didn’t want to be here. Abit much …. I told you I was going to be keeping it all the way real.
So how do you take care of people when you’re struggling to take care of yourself. You find your fit. I decided to take a career break and honestly I thought it would be great time away to come back refreshed. Nope it only emphasised that plasters are only temporary protection. You have to allow things to breath have space to heal. So I quit, I knew that I couldn’t go back knowing that at my worst I had showcased behaviours that were out of character. With the job already hard how could I possibly add to my colleagues work load. We’ve all been there had that nurse whose mind is elsewhere or just doesn’t want to be there. The workload is tedious and you despise them. I created such a safe space for my self on that unit and there was no way I could let it become anything else.
Looking back could I have dealt with it differently probably explained better probably. But here we are. I handed my noticed in end of January and went agency. Now this is where people are going to be like ehh. my reply is A girl gots to eat. We all know how I love to eat (follow my Insta dedicated to food @whatsheseaten launching later this month)
Working agency there’s no attachments, you do your job you leave fast. They don’t know you, your moods, your faces. Everything is just that bit easier and let’s not forget the money. It’s been more than helpful and ultimately it’s helped to live out a dream. One I’ve had for a while, that I always seemed to fall short of.
Currently writing this post pool side in Bangkok , having a chilled monday. Planning my next routes. Having extended my stay in this lovely hostel a couple more nights because relaxation is just as important as the adventure.
What you take away from this post if anything and I will shout this in my broadest Yorkshire accent. Your mental health is so important!! Take the break, figure out what you need to rebuild, get the help, talk to someone, write it down. Allow yourself to readjust and figure out your why. make a plan and execute it how you wish.
The first step is always the hardest but the journey is always worth it
Let’s hope that this year ahead brings more consistent post! Enjoy your week, much love