We’ve all been Samira

Its been a while feels strange but also great. We often get bogged down with where we “should be” that we really aren’t living our best life. I definitely was guilty of that and got into a rut. But that’s a blog for another day.

So, from my title, you can guess that love island has me in its grips once again. I’m just a young lady that enjoys watching trash TV and eating my favourite snacks whilst doing so. Hey, not every minute of every day be a serious nurse.

I think we all tune in because of A, we live for the drama B, love island is, unfortunately, such an accurate representation of what dating is like in this era of social media. If your follower count on Instagram is not in the thousands, you aren’t in the best shape of your life and can’t chisel the hell out of your face with the popular makeup products. Then who the hell are you?

Reality is that at some stage most of us have felt like Samira, just not worthy. When I watched the episode, I was honestly sad because I can relate. Especially as a young black woman, who is single. Shit is hard.

We all know ultimately love island is a game show. It’s about getting good ratings from the producer’s point of view. I can’t help but feel they could have done so much better by her. Doing good by her doesn’t make good TV those, does it? I’m glad that there is a girl like Danny in there, we all need a girlfriend that’s like Danny. When she said I don’t know who’s made you feel like this and told her that she was beautiful. It really made me grateful for my friends. Whilst my circle is small, I couldn’t have asked for better friends. They have constantly lifted me in my moments of self-doubt/loathing and reminded me of my character and the person I truly am, I’m utterly blessed. I digress, in answer to Danny’s question. It’s society. I loved Judy loves video https://www.facebook.com/1Judi.love/videos/1587795894664709/ because she kept it all the way real.

As black women, I think it’s hard to date. We are often left feeling like we are the second option. Who the hell wants to be second in life when you can be number 1. Not me love, that’s for sure.  I don’t think any other race must think about dating guys like black women. It’s crazy to think that sometimes you question whether someone is into females of the same race. Then if you date outside your race, am I being fetishized or do you genuinely want to get to know me for me. I mentioned something similar in my previous post (insert link). Like Come on guys, vaginas are different for a whole host of reasons, colour IS NOT ONE OF THEM. It’s all mad really

I recently deleted my dating apps because honestly IM TIRED.  Guys, it’s not ok to fix your mouth to me tell me how attractive I am for a black girl or letting me know you have never been with a black girl before. You shit head.

Then you match with someone only for you to talk, ghost me, then pop up and be on “oh hey how’s things” when I post a 10/10 snapchat. I know all girls feel me on this one.

I have come to the point in my life that I think I’m FIRE!! this is only a recent realisation. Some of you will be doing side eye like you thought I always thought that. No HUN I’ve been faking it. Truth is I came to the realisation I’m just me, I can’t be anyone else and in fact, I don’t honestly think I’d enjoy life half as much as anyone else. I’m curvy, I think I’m cute and my personality and character wouldn’t suit anyone’s else but me. There IS someone out there that will enjoy every ounce of me. NO IFS BUTS OR MAYBE. I look forward to the day we lay in bed and I introduce him to my snack drawer.

I think what I’m trying to say is that being different from the “norm” shouldn’t be anything other than celebrated. Slim or curvy, short or tall, whatever race, religion or sexual orientation. We are all just trying to live our best life. Your mental health is just as important as your physical.  If someone out there or a situation makes you feel like a second option step the hell off remove yourself. Live your best life because it’s all just a process, life is too short to be number 2.

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